


Unfaithful

by hufflepuffdean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cheating, Drinking, F/M, M/M, Party, cas doesn't want to be there, i hate myself for this shit, sad baby cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 20:14:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16144676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hufflepuffdean/pseuds/hufflepuffdean
Summary: Castiel catches Dean cheating on him at a party.





	Unfaithful

"Why do you always have to do this? Why do you fucking  _demand_  my attention then just leave me? Why do you have to play with my heart like it's a goddamn toy? It doesn't make sense, Dean! Just, why? I can't figure it out. You do this to me every time I give you another chance. You always fuck it up someway or another! Just because you're Dean  _fucking_  Winchester doesn't mean you can treat me like shit. I'm not one of those fucking girls that drool all over you because you're the  _quarterback_. I'm not just one of your little throw-away fans," Cas screamed at Dean between sobs, exasperation openly exposed on his face, melancholy and anguish clouding his deep blue eyes.

Castiel felt like there was a fire quickly growing inside of him like angry flames engulfing dead brush on a dry, hot afternoon in the middle of summer; like his entire heart and soul were painful being seared by his hurt and sorrow, burning him alive from the inside-out. Even if Dean and Cas did get over this, it would never be the same. This whole damned mess had permanently branded him. There would always be a scar on his heart, a gruesome tear in his soul, a piece of him lost forever.

Dean's eyes went wide and his face pale. He never meant to do this to Cas, the love of his life, the greatest thing to ever happen to him, the most wonderful person in the whole world. Castiel didn't deserve this. Castiel didn't deserve someone like him.

If only he hadn't gotten drunk and been a fucking idiot, none of this would've happened. He ruined it. He royally fucked up this time.

***That night***

"Dean, you know I hate parties with a burning passion," Cas whined for what seemed like the millionth time that day. They had both been invited to Uriel's annual Halloween get together, which was really just a typical senior party. Castiel wasn't friends with Uriel and, to be honest, hated the people he hung out with - the popular jocks that bullied him in middle school and early high school. Dean, however, had absolutely nothing against him personally and agreed to go, despite Castiel's many objections. Castiel found Dean's choice perplexing, considering Dean never went to these parties when he was invited, but didn't think too hard about it. Dean had always gotten along more with those people anyways, being the beloved quarterback, plus he naturally fit in no matter where he went.

"Cas, baby, it'll be okay. I'll be right there by your side the whole time." Dean reassured him as they pulled into Uriel's already packed driveway; it was barely time for the party to start. Castiel groaned.

"You better be. I can't stand like 98% of these people, you know that." He was seriously starting to regret the decision to accompany his lovely companion. He was only doing this because Dean wanted him to. He wasn't a party person, not at all. The mere thought of even attending churned his stomach and put a bad taste in his mouth.

When they stepped up to the door, an already buzzed Uriel opened the door wide and welcomed them in. Castiel didn't feel very welcome; Uriel made sure to shoot Castiel an evil smirk when Dean wasn't paying attention. He had a horrible feeling about this. Dean was a natural, he new everybody and socialized well, all brilliant smiles and friendly pats on the back. Castiel just wanted to get this whole thing over with; he felt like a fish out of water. He had never been so uncomfortable. He sure wasn't going to have much fun, but he hoped Dean would enjoy himself. Oh, the sacrifices he made for that boy.

Castiel followed Dean around like a lost puppy. Dean was handed cup after cup. He passed Castiel a cup full of beer and encouraged him to loosen up, take some of the edge off and he'd feel better. Castiel smelled the awful concoction and set it down at a near table when Dean turned his attention elsewhere. If Dean was going to end up shitfaced, he wanted to make sure he got home safely.

Cas smiled and was friendly with everyone that approached Dean or Dean approached himself, but half of those kids would've still been treating Castiel harshly if it weren't for the fact that he was with Dean Winchester. Dean Winchester was like his knight in shining armor; he saved Cas from the evil of teens and high school. He was so grateful for Dean and everything he had ever done for him. He loved him with everything he had. Dean was his safe place, his one true love. Dean was basically ignoring him, but he really didn't mind. It seemed like Dean was having fun, so he dealt with it. He just wanted Dean to be happy, that was all that mattered to him. He could suffer through an awful party for him.

Dean was starting to get more and more drunk as the party went on, downing every cup he was given, and he was given a lot of cups. Castiel pulled him to the side after he had ran into an inn table and knocked over several half full cups. "Baby, I think we may need to leave. You're completely wasted," Cas suggested, trying to capture Dean's wondering attention. Dean finally looked down at Castiel with his prominent emerald green eyes and offered a lazy smile, like he was just now noticing he was there.

"Have I ever told you how pretty you are?" Dean slurred as he cupped Castiel's cheek and leaned in for a sloppy kiss. Castiel dodged the kiss but stared up at Dean with his piercing clear-blue eyes.

"Dean, I'm serious. I don't want anything to happen to you." Castiel worriedly gazed into his eyes, searching for a sign of understanding. Something inside of Dean snapped and he stepped away from Cas, hurt and anguish written all over his face.

"I can't believe you think I can't handle this. I can take care of myself, I don't always need you watching over me like my fucking mom or something. You're always a buzz kill. If you wanna go, go! I ain't gonna stop you," Dean's voice hung in the air with a heavy crescendo. Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing, their heads swung to watch what would happen next. Castiel was shocked, his mouth gaping open and his eyes nearly popping out of his head. Dean had never had an outburst like this. Ever. Nonetheless in front of nearly the whole student body. Sure, Dean had been drunk before around Cas, but he had never treated him like that. Castiel gained his composure just barely enough to respond to the drunk-laden explosion.

"Do not yell at me," Cas hissed through his teeth, fighting back tears. "I was just looking out for your safety, Dean. It's my job to make sure you're okay. I'm the only one that gives a fuck about you. You want to take care of yourself? Do it. I'm not dealing with this tonight. I really hope you're happy." Cas spat as he pushed through the people and stormed off. He found himself in the backyard, tears unwillingly streaming down his face.

"I  _am_  happy!" Dean yelled after him, leaning up against the wall for stability. The whole room was silent and staring. "What the hell are you guys looking at?" Dean screamed, scaring everyone back into their previous activities.

Dean swayed and stumbled back into the party. God, did he need another drink. He just wanted to have fun and not think. Things at home weren't exactly pretty, his Cassie was mad at him, why not take another drink to relieve some stress? His mind was already fuzzy, and his vision the same, but what harm would one more do? Cas didn't know what he was talking about. Who cares anymore, honestly? Fuck it, he wanted to forget. He danced, he drank. He was having more fun than he had had in a long time.

Before he even knew what was going on, there was a girl tugging on his arm, leading him to the back part of the large house. Lisa? Meg? Anna? He couldn't tell. He let her drag him, let her take him into a bedroom, let her kiss his lips, let her take his shirt off of him, let her push him back onto the bed, let her touch him in forbidden places, let her guide his hands where ever she so chose. He kissed her back roughly, invading her mouth with his tongue and nipping her bottom lip with his teeth. He wanted her to do the things she was doing, and he wanted to do the same things to her. He was blissfully ignorant, numb to all feelings except lust. He felt good, amazing even. That was, until he got interrupted.

-

Cas hated when Dean and him fought; it wasn't often, but it wasn't pretty when they did stumble into an argument. Tonight was different though. Dean had never yelled at him like that. Sure, they got into silly arguments sometimes, but nothing like this. Dean just had too much to drink. Castiel was worried about him. He was very upset with him, but he still cared. He had an awful feeling about tonight to begin with. He knew this would be a bad idea.

He figured Dean might've wanted a break from John, from having to always care for Sam, from school, from it all; he knew Dean just wanted to act like any other teenager and be normal for once. His mother's death anniversary was coming up as well, which was never easy for their household, anyways. The only reason he even came to this godforsaken party was because he knew Dean would end up going anyways and he didn't want him to be alone. He just wanted to be there for Dean.

He was internally fighting with himself. Go inside and see if he's alright or give him what he wanted and go home. Pacing around a half empty backyard wasn't going to get him anywhere. Fuck it. There's no way Dean was still angry. He had had enough time to cool off, maybe he could try to reason with him. Castiel hesitantly entered the house again, searching through the bunches of people for Dean. He didn't see him. He asked around but everyone was either too drunk or too high to give him a straight answer. Some people just didn't care.

As much as he hated to, he figured Uriel would have an idea of where he ran off to. Castiel internally groaned as he approached the other boy. Castiel awkwardly cleared his throat, grabbing his attention. "Um, Uriel? Could I speak with you a moment?" Castiel hesitantly asked, almost immediately regretting it.

"What? Can't find your boyfriend?" Uriel snickered, earning a nervous nod from Castiel.

"Actually, yes. Did you see where he went?"

Uriel gave him a look of false pity. "Oh, little Castiel. You'll see. Last door on the left down that hallway," Uriel snickered, pointing out the hallway with a quick flick of his wrist.

Castiel gave him a look of confusion, slightly tilting his head to the side and squinting his eyes. What the hell did he mean? Cas nodded slowly and headed down the hallway with determination. God, he hoped Dean was okay. Castiel would personally kill Uriel if anything had happened to him. Castiel walked up to the door and swung it open.

"O-oh, I'm so sorry, I-" Castiel was about to turn away and close the door, like any sensible person would when you walk in on two people being intimate, until he recognized the dirty blonde boy. It was Dean. His Dean. His Dean was entangled with a pretty redheaded girl, both of them shirtless. Time stopped. Castiel couldn't move, he couldn't breathe. His whole being was in pure shock.

Dean lazily broke away from the redhead - Anna, he soon figured out- squinting at the door. His face broke out in panic as he hastily pushed Anna off of him. He tried to stand up, but immediately fell back onto the bed. "Cas-" Dean begun, successfully standing up and hesitantly inching toward Castiel. All Castiel could do stare. "Baby, I-" Dean reached for Castiel's hand.

Castiel came to his senses and flinched back, jerking his hand away. "Dean, I don't want to hear any of it. Here are your keys." He tossed Dean his keys, avoiding his pleading eyes. "Please don't drive home. Also, don't speak to me ever again. This was it. We're done." Castiel said calmly, but firmly, tears silently falling down his flushed cheeks. He turned and walked away, leaving Dean alone with Anna. It was Dean's turn to be in shock.

"Fuck," he whispered, falling back onto the bed and putting his head in his hands. Anna awkwardly put her shirt back on and sympathetically rested her hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off.

"I-I'm sorry," she started. He waved her off; she nodded her head understandingly and exited the room, leaving Dean to his thoughts.

His mind was still fuzzy from all of the alcohol, but he understood what he did. Why the hell did he do that? How could he forget about Cas? Goddamnit, he was so mad at himself. He just ruined everything. He couldn't just blame it on the alcohol, nor could he blame Anna; he knew what he was doing and he let it happen. He didn't stop her, he didn't tell her he had a boyfriend, and he also didn't even try to stop himself.

Dean gathered all of his belongings and decided to call Sam. He hated to bother him, he was spending the night at Gabriel's, but he really needed a way out of there and he couldn't exactly drive. All he told Sam was that he needed to be picked up pronto, no explanation. He just had to get as far away from this mess as possible.

Sam and Gabriel found Dean sitting on the hood of the impala, seemingly dead to the world and everything happening around him with tears silently streaming down his face. Sam shook him out of his haze and got him into the car. Gabriel drove himself home, leaving Sam to drive with Dean. Being as drunk as he was, he fell asleep almost as soon as he leaned his forehead against the passenger side window.

-

Castiel didn't know how to feel. How was he supposed to feel? His boyfriend just cheated on him. His boyfriend that he loved more than anything in the world. What did he do to him? Where had everything gone wrong? There were so many questions that Castiel wasn't able to answer. He didn't even know how to react. He had done so much for that boy and this is what happens? Castiel felt everything but nothing all at once.

After Castiel had left Dean, he quietly left the party, ignoring Uriel's amused gaze. He started on the long walk home. He knew it would be at least a 30 minute walk, but he had no other options. He did his best to ignore the cool October air nipping at his uncovered neck; he didn't want to burden anyone with having to pick him up at nearly midnight. Plus, his parents thought he was just staying at Dean's house. He hoped the walk would help him clear his head, but it only made everything so much worse. He had nothing to distract him from his thoughts. His mind was too full, too overwhelmed.

Castiel had to take a break, everything was getting far too much for him to handle. He collapsed on the curb, burying his head in his hands. Something inside him snapped. Castiel cried more than he ever had while sitting on that dirty curb. Sobs violently shook his lean frame, causing his breaths to be short and shallow. He attempted to hiccup back tears, to straighten up, but he just didn't have the energy. He cried until he ran out of tears. He took shaky deep breaths, carefully stood up, and continued on his walk home.

Castiel could hardly make out what he was feeling, but a few things were very clear to him. There was no fixing this. There was no going back. Their relationship was simply broken. Of course he loved Dean, but he could never forgive him for this, nonetheless heal. Dean completely shattered his trust. Dean was probably happier this way, anyways.

Cas meant what he said. He didn't want to hear what he had to say or his bullshit excuses, but he did still worry about him. He texted Sam just to make sure Dean got home safely before he was even home himself.

Everything was so fucked.

***Present***

"So you have nothing to say to me? You're unbelievable, Dean. This," Cas swept his hands out indignantly, indicating their relationship, "is done. We are done. I love you, Dean, as much as it pains me to say it, but we can't be together. Not after what you did. You've really done it this time. Please don't try to reach out to me, or talk to me, or look at me. I - I can't be your friend, Dean," Castiel's voice broke, raw sadness seeping through. Castiel had tried to channel everything through anger, but his facade came crumbling down around him. He was clearly broken beyond repair.

Dean offered a curt nod, tears glistening in his eyes. He understood. Castiel didn't want him in his life, and it was nobody's fault but his. He wouldn't beg, he wouldn't make it worse. Doing as Cas wished was the least he could do after everything.

Castiel slowly made his way towards Dean. Dean assumed he was going to slap him; he would let him, he knew he deserved it. Castiel instead gently cupped his cheeks and wiped away Dean's stray tears. The shorter boy then pressed his lips to Dean's. The kiss was light and short, but it was weighed heavily with hurt and heartbreak.

"I love you, Cas," Dean whispered, hot tears sliding down his cheeks. Castiel gave him a small, sorrowful smile.

"Goodbye, Dean." With those two words, Dean watched Castiel leave his life forever.


End file.
